11/10/11

T.B.---

While studying for a test.

"Yeah. I feel overconfident again, which scares me, but maybe that’s just because I’m looking at AIDS right now and everything looks familiar."

E.G.---

After a visit to The Candy Office today, J.F.'s candy suddenly went missing. After accusing K.B. for a few minutes she received the following email from E.G.*

*Initials added for reader reference.

11/3/2011

Sorry it has been so long. We have all been a little too stressed for conversation lately.

S.S.---

K.B. “SS, you’re married.”

S.S. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

J.F.---

While discussing K.B.'s popping of a plastic bag, loudly, at the end of class.

K.B. “I think it scared the professors.”

J.F. “Well of course it did.  Weren't they in the wars?”

10/10/2011

Older

B.B.---

B.B. "If I had rodent teeth, I would be able to eat my carrot and have my teeth meet right in the middle."

---After trying for a couple minutes.

B.B. "Oh well, that dream is crushed."

---Today---

J.F.---

J.F. "G.L. bruises like a tomato, I bruise like a watermelon."

10/5/11

D.V.F.A.---

"Yeah, I am going to bake a lot on Tuesday, and go home on Wednesday."

B.B.---

B.B. “Shiver me timbers.”

E.G. “No, mine!”

B.B. “Shiver your timbers.”

10/4/2011

J.F.---

After K.B. pops his shoulder/collar bone.

J.F. "You didn't warn me you were going to do that!"

K.B. "I popped my chest, not my back."

J.F. "You don’t have any bones in your chest.  Oh…wait."

E.G.---

While munching on E.G.’s Doritos.

J.F. "It would be funny if every Dorito you ate shortened your life by .7 seconds.

E.G. (with a very serious look) "I would still eat them." *crunch*

10/3/2011

E.G.---

E.G. "I don't know why it tickled me."
J.F. "Ha ha, I like tickling you in a metaphorical sense."
E.G. "Yeah, I'm pretty ticklish when it comes to your verbal fingers."

J.F.---

"I have enough anxiety to power a small city."

J.F.---

While looking at the services a hospital offers.
"Look at all the cool things they do: ambulatory, optometry, pediatrics, cardiac, telepathy..."

E.G.---

"I can't wait for Christmas."

E.G.---

E.G. "What's that a lollipop?"
K.B. "Dum-Dum"
E.G. "Typical"

E.G.---

E.G. "I'm probably going to have nightmares after the ballet."
J.F. "Why?"
E.G. "Because it is about vampires.......it's going to make me think about the whole neck thing."

T.B.---

When talking about moving to a different place and dealing with all of her stuff

“I don’t think you understand the vastness of my crap.”

9/29/11

E.G.---

"I have to brush my teeth, oooohhh!, but i have a York Peppermint Patty, I'll wait"

E.G.---

While having trouble with Facebook.
"I'm going to call up Mark Zwitterion."

D.V.F.A.*---

"That's right always marry up, that's what my wife did.

*Disembodied Voice From Above

9/26/2011

R.B.---

"O is a big vowel, it just kind of sits there saying: pronounce me!"

E.G.---

"My ears feel naked."

K.B.---

"Stockings are individual and pantyhose are one big unit."

E.G.---

"T.B. you excel at Excel."

E.G. & J.F.---

E.G. "Do you think people on warfarin can't run fast?"

J.F. "I think that wearing the warfarin bracelet would make you prone to attackers because it means you can't run fast."
E.G. "They should make warfarin earrings."

R.B.---

K.B. "I should take GL shooting."

J.F. "You should take GL shaving?"

-------Everybody laughs--------

R.B. "I didn’t know you were that kinky."

9/19/2011

We didn't have any funny quotes today, so, instead we are going to play a game. Leave a comment to complete random passing nursing student's sentence:

N.S. "Yeah, it's so natural to compare..."

N.S.=Nursing Student

9/15/2011---And catch-up

Sorry, I just haven't had time to get these on here yet.


9/12/2011

J.F.---

T.B. "I can’t have lunch with you today, R.B. and I have to go to a Kappa Psi meeting."

J.F. "Followed by an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting…"

J.F.---

R.B. "It’s OK to drug your kids with Benadryl."

J.F. "Yeah, my parents did it all time and I turned out fine!"

T.B. "That’s debatable."

J.F. "Yeah, I don’t remember a family car trip until I was about seven years old."

J.F.---

T.B."Aren't you cold?"

J.F. "No I’ve got body fat to keep my warm, like a polar bear."

T.B. "Well if you have extra fat you are hiding it well."

J.F. "Ppffft, not in this dress."

E.G.---

E.G. "Guess who squirted my ketchup for me today?"

--it was Dr. B

--------------------

E.G. "Why are all my quotes about things squirting?"

9/13/2011

K.B.---

Professor "If you are really committed to Walgreen's, and want to do another rotation there, you can."

K.B. "If you are really committed to Walgreen's then you are the devil........or one of his minions."

9/15/2011

J.F.---One-liners

J.F. "I am taking this quiz so bad."

J.F. "I haven’t made the guacamole yesterday yet."

E.G.---

E.G. "So, what ethnicity are you?"

A.J. "Um…Caucasian?"

E.G. "You’re not Irish?"

A.J. "No, welsh/Norwegian."

E.G. "You look very un-American today."

09/14/2011

T.B.---

J.F. "I am a more of a positive reinforcement learner."
T.B. "Yeah, give me treats and I will follow you around the corner."

9/6/2011

R.B.---

While discussing the copious amounts of water R.B. drinks.

E.G: "So, you’re really good at drinking water."

After a swig.

R.B. "You know, I bet you, too, could be good at drinking water if you tried."

E.G. & T.B.---

Referencing a Tech Teacher

K.B. "I think something got short-circuited somewhere."

R.B. " Does he seem high all the time?"

E.G. & T.B.  "Dr. B.?"

R.B.---

K.B. "Do you see this improper use of a colon?"

After reading the sentence.

R.B. "Yes, that needs a colonoscopy."

E.G.----

"Have you guys ever tried to say the alphabet phonetically?  Ah, Be, Ss, Du, Eh, Fu, Gu…Zz.  You guys should try it.  My friend taught it to me."

9/1/2011

K.B.---

"The internet is broken today, so, I have to think for myself."

J.F.---

KB: "Happy September first everybody!"

JF:" Oh!  We should see what dances we can do!"

S.S.---

Speaking about an acronym T.B. made up about the live immunizations.

 "Well it’s more fun now because it’s about intoxication AND taking pills."

J.F.---

Referencing a granola bar.

JF: "I don’t want to eat this, but I know that if I don’t I’ll be hungry in 20 minutes."

TB: "Then why don’t you wait and eat it in 20 minutes?"

JF: "This is why I have friends."

8/29/2011

K.B.---

Disembodied Voice from above: "I am so lost, I need to be in the *Budge Building*. Haha, I'm in the Budge building."
K.B. "That must be a nursing student."
A.J. "It could have been a freshman."
K.B. "No, this is a professional building, it is full of professional students. hehe"
A.J. "Theoretically."

K.B.---

In regards to the general ditziness of the nursing students. While a nursing professor is yelling down into the basement.

K.B. "Apparently, it's from the top down."


**Name has been changed to protect the innocence of the building.**

8/25/2011

E.G.---

"OMG! I just squirted yogurt on my crotch."

T.B.,J.F.---

When describing a kuerig coffee machine.
"It's a single-unit dose dispenser for coffee."

8/24/2011

KB.---

When faced with a large number of women in front of him in the hall.
 K. B. "There is a mass of estrogen in front of me.''

8/22/2011

E.G.---

J.F. "You look very serious about your case."
E.G. "I've got my case face on."

A.V.---

E.G. "I love John Mayer, he is so smooth."
Simultaneously:
A.V. "Isn't he kind of a jerk?"
K.B. "Isn't he a man whore?"

E.G. "Ryan Adams is."

08/18/2011

B.B.---

Referencing fellow classmates behaving in an unprofessional manner.
"They are like the moldy blueberry in my box of blueberries. They make me suspicious of all the other berries."

08/17/2011

E.G.---

"I have my sweet tooth, my salt tooth and my thirsty mouth."

08/16/2011----We're Ba-ack!

After the long summer, school starts again.

E.G.---

Upon the arrival of chips with lunch.
E.G. "Perfect, i need some crunch in my sandwich."

J.F.---

While exploring our school issued iPod.
J.F. "Now I can iPod Face you."

5/14/2011--The end of Finals week

The End of Finals week, posts will be far and few between until school starts again in August.

J.F.---

T.B. "When do you take motion sickness meds?

J.F. "An hour before you get on your motion sickening device."

A.V.,J.F.---

A.V. "I started out studying so gun ho and then lost steam, really feeling the effects of the past 4 exams! P.S. where does the saying gun ho come from?"

J.F. " Ha ha, it's not gun ho, it's gung ho.

A.V. "Wow, thanks. That's like when I discovered it was a headACHE not headick.

J.F. "Yeah, and it's recitation, not ressertation."

J.F.---

J.F. "female discharge decision tree......Gross dude!"

K.B.---

K.B. "We are half-way done with Pharm School. If you add the four of us together we make two pharmacists."

5/11/2011

K.B.---

"Suppositories....they melt in your bum, not in your hand."

J.F.---

K.B. "Bring your hard drive on Friday."

J.F. "Isn't it all ready in my computer?"

J.F.---

"My alarm clock has become self-aware and it has intentionally thwarted my efforts to get to class on time. It's now sitting in the corner in timeout."

J.F.---

A.V. "Go big or go home."

J.F. "Well, I am afraid to go big, but tired of staying home. Do, I'll go medium."

5/10/2011

E.G.---

"Listen to what is in my brain, not what I say."

A.V.,E.G.---

A.V. "Maybe I should stop studying with you, you are not good for me...you make me sick."

E.G. "I am bad for your health?!?"

A.V. "Well."

5/9/2011

K.B.---

A.J. "What's that?" (An earphone jack on a backpack shoulder strap.)

A.V. "It's a laser, peww, peww." While dodging imaginary laser beams.

K.B. "I don't want a laser that goes peww, peww."

5/6/2011

B.B.---

J.F. "Cheaters never win."

B.B. "I keep winning."

J.F.---

J.F. "I got a new calculator...I named her Matilda after that smart chick from the book."

A.J. "That is nice. I am so happy for you J.F. Do I need to send Matilda an invite for the end of semester party?"

J.F. "Only if I pass kinetics...otherwise Matilda and I are going to the batting cages...and only one of us is coming back."

A.J. "Well, seeing as Matilda is only responsible for one test and old calculator is responsible for two, I have to question Matilda taking all the blame."

J.F. "Old Calculator has all ready been dealt with....speaking of which...How do you fix a garbage disposal?"

A.J. "Ha Ha. Call the guy; grind longer; throw in a computer to eat the calculator, I don't know why it ate the calculator, perhaps it will die."

5/5/2011

K.B.---

K.B."I have a lot of candy today."

B.B. "As opposed to...?"

Because K.B. has candy on an IV drip.

5/4/2011

B.B.---

"I can't wait for menopause! I'll get elf powers, like a heightened sense of smell and sight!"

A.J.---

"Have you seen the undergrad encampment in the business lounge? I got there this morning and there was nowhere to sit, no one was there, just piles of books, blankets and garbage.....disgusting, smelly undergrads."

J.F.---

After finding out one of our professors went to Antarctica. "Were you there on purpose?"

5/3/2011

J.F---

"Happy Friday woman time!"

5/2/2011

E.G.---

J.F. "I will give you half my sandwich if you walk to my car with me."

E.G. "Can I bring my juice?"

After returning.

E.G. "Can I have 1/8th of your sandwich."

While eating the sandwich.

J.F. "This bread is really dry. Sorry."

E.G. "It's ok. Hunger is the best sauce."

E.G.---

"I'm into mutagens."

K.B.---

E.G. "D,C,B,A,C,D,B. Have you ever seen a sentence made of letters."

K.B. "All sentences are made of letters."

4/29/2011

K.B.---

A.J. "You look nice today."

J.F. "Thank You."

K.B. "You can't wear that when you go to prison."

J.F.---

K.B. "I dare you to raise your hand and ask if we are going to diagnose the difference between wet and dry degeneration."

J.F. "naw... I feel bad for her.. she probably weighs as much as my left thigh! My sarcasm might knock her over."

4/28/2011

B.B.---

Turning in a service learning assignment titled:

"Human Society Kongs" <---Should read Humane Society Kongs.

A.J.---

A.J. "Oo! That was a reverse burp."

B.B. "Those are called farts."

B.B.---

After pulling her headphones in and out of her ears repeatedly, "Oh my Gosh, I thought my left ear was so deaf, but, then I got these new ear phones."

B.B.---

"I tried to make them giggle. They didn't giggle."

K.B.---

K.B. "First years, so close to undergrad."

B.B. "With their lingering smell."

B.B.---

"Rollie Pollie action activate!"

4/27/2011

A.J.---

A.J. "I had to counsel our cop about eye drops at work last night."

J.F. "Was he cute?"

A.J. "Umm... I don't know."

J.F. "Guys know whether another man is good looking or not."

A.J. "Well, he is a little old for me."

E.G.---

After making multiple messes of food that day. "I wish I could be a responsible eater."

J.F.---

"See, mine's not sticky, it's smooth and beautiful."

J.F.---

J.F. "I just emailed myself!"

E.G."Is that where all my emails go?"

J.F.---

"I just want to hit that spot in your knee that makes your leg jiggle."

J.F.---

"I don't know what I did before G.L. (her boyfriend). I moved through life in a chemotactic way...run and tumble, run and tumble."

4/21/2011

A long, long time ago (2 months), while sitting in the Business School Study Lounge.

A.J.---

To K.B. "I am surprised they are still letting us study in here."

---Yesterday

The Lounge is a space between the back of an old, unused auditorium and a two story wall of windows, it also comes with a television, complete with cable access (now you know why we study there). The University has been doing construction on the roof for quite some time. This construction involved a chute through which the manworkers could throw the garbage into a waiting truck., A.J. was sitting in the lounge before class studying (no really! the TV was turned off). Another regular patron of the lounge was napping (by napping, we mean snoring loudly) (which A.J. finds rather annoying) on the couch about 25 feet from A.J. when a metal pole fell through the glass above the snoring undergrad. Luckily, the Lounge has solid roll up blinds which protected said undergrad from the falling debris. As you can imagine, he sat up with a startled look and exclaimed, "Wow! that was close!" Then he packed up and left, presumably to conquer some, "Really hard class" (probably underwater basket weaving, give me a break!). A.J. then got to enjoy an entire morning of university bosses yelling at manworkers, then subcontractor bosses; then subcontractor bosses yelling at manworkers, manworkers arguing back and so on and so forth, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But hey! At least no one was snoring.

4/20/2011

E.G.---

When offered cookies, "Are those good enough to be worth brushing my teeth again?"

4/19/2011

While walking between classes.

A.V.---

"It smells like cadaver lab!"

--------------------

K.B. "Marmot"

A.V. "Marmot"

E.G. "Marmot"

A.J. "Marmot"

4/18/2011

E.G.---

E.G. "I am yawning so much because I need more oxygen."

B.B. "I am sucking up all your oxygen."

E.G. "I need you to be a tree instead."

B.B. "I am the anti-tree."

A.J.---

To J.F. after she stole his gouda. "You should never touch a man's cheese."

J.F. "That is what my mom told me."

J.F---

"Don't read my love letter to Dr. B. (one of our professors) " <--A.J. Trying to read her email (she is trying to get a student research grant)

A.J. "Are you going to carbon copy G.L.?" <--Her BF

A.J.---

"Ok. I can post this now, J.F. Is gone, so nothing funny will happen."

K.B.---

A recurring theme:

We take lunch in the basement of one of our class buildings. The story above us has a hallway that is open to where we eat. *see picture* (A long explanation I know.) On the upper floor there is an office we affectionately call "The Candy Office" People when walking by occasionally throw candy down to us, now K.B. begs in a booming voice.

"SKY CANDY!!!!"

Long Time Ago and 4/14/2011

B.B.---

In the quiet moment before a test began. "FOR NARNIA!"

K.B.---

Walking in a predominately undergraduate area of school. *sniff* *sniff* "I smell Undergrads."

A.J.---

After almost getting bumped into by an undergrad. "How did he not see me, I am not exactly hard to miss, I am not E.G. who has to jump around in the shower to get wet."

4/13/2011

K.B.--

To all: "So, some of these topics are more familiar to some of our group."

Categories: Hair Loss, Diaper, Insect, Poison

Responses:

A.V. "I don't know.....Poison really hits home to me." <----Assigned Poison

J.F. "Lol, did someone have a bad experience."

A.V. "Mr. Yuck stickers EVERYWHERE!!!"

E.G. "I average 2 ladybugs a day in my room in the summer, I'm set." <--Assigned Insect

A.J. "What are you trying to say about my hairline?" <--not assigned Hair Loss, just sensitive about his receding hairline.

4/11/2011

J.F.---

To A.V. upon returning from the restroom. "Why are you smiling? What did you do in the bathroom?"

E.G.---

After looking at pictures of A.J.'s son's new haircut. "That bowl cut makes your son look like a german."

E.G.---

While rubbing her eyebrows.

"I am massaging my eyeballs."

A.J. "Those aren't your eyeballs."

"I thought they felt funny"